Collective Identity
June 1.2010
Collectively, separate people perceive our Identity very differently. There is an old French saying, “You are always judged for the bad.” I feel like people usually see artists for their aesthetic imagery. When in reality what someone has to say about something is or what something means to someone is monumentally more important than what an image is. It takes a certain type of person and a talented one to paint a picture to see an image alone. I myself always work to have something to throw the image into place, to make it stand out, and to have a stronger meaning. How can one express themselves with mundane meaning?
Conceptual Surveillance
4/27/10
For our conceptual project using the high school’s surveillance cameras I had the idea to set up an orchestra or a band to play their music with each individual at a different surveillance camera. I feel that an orchestra would be better because of the larger group number, giving more angles and views of the orchestra playing. I would have each individual from the band or orchestra standing from a good angle for each individual surveillance camera and to play separate parts of the piece. After I had decided on a song to play the video would be recorded to have everyone playing a there part of the song. I would edit the video to have as many people playing at once on one screen. The song would play simultaneously showing each person from the band or orchestra playing there instrument to collectively play a song.
Surveillance Log 1: Monday, 4.19.10
Today was started like an ordinary day in Bo5, it was different than anyone had expected. I came in and sat down first. I watched each peer walk through the same door, and attempt to capture something presentable. Everyone was unsatisfied with the result of his or her work.
Surveillance Log 2: Tuesday, 4.20.10
This is a room full of complacent teenagers. A group of talented slackers who only find the time to work when an authority figures blade is quickly swinging lower towards there necks. We all have a concept of time, but we work when we have to. I starred into my camera phone for the last fifteen minutes of class, desperately scribbling a horrid drawing on a white piece of paper.
Surveillance Log 3: Wednesday, 4.21.10
The pressure from a newly presented project has passed, but the endless fear of failure still effortlessly controls me. I can’t depict her face and she makes such great noise inside of me. I could try, but I could never redefine such beauty through my hands. I had to take a picture to stray far from apprehension.
Surveillance Log 4: Thursday, 4.22.10
I put my self at a safe distance from purposely falling straight on my face. My feet still have the strength to catch me from tripping with every step, but I feel uneasy. I keep looking at my phone. I keep having to refresh the image so it won’t dim out. I feel like I am pushing the same buttons in my head. I stare into the same inevitable problems; the ones I feel are incapable of pushing aside. I have attempted to capture them, but they always find a way to slip through my fingers. These problems always find a way to run free.
Surveillance Log 5: Friday, 4.23.10
The end was in the beginning-everything is always changing, but finds a way to stay the same. I worked hard today, finishing a piece in a single period. It’s the story of my life; it is better to be late then never.
Prompt Question
Ethical Differences
4.22.10
The ethical differences between the surveillance of the objects/property and living subjects are that when you draw the objects/property you aren’t imposing any thing upon them. When drawing form the still life I felt much more comfortable because they would never change positions through out drawing and it was easier to take pictures and draw from them. When I drew from the living subjects it was much harder for me to draw them because they would move constantly and it also felt like it was awkward to try and take a picture. I would approach the person I am trying to draw and start to draw, they would move the paper they are drawing on completely and it would ruin how I would take information from them. After a few attempts at drawing from the living subjects I decided it would be easier to take pictures and draw from that. When I approached the living subjects in the art room they would be skeptical of what I was doing, I would walk up to them holding my camera phone and trying to take a picture of them but since there is hardly and zoom on the phones camera it was really strange to try and get so close to them to take the picture. There is a difference ethically between the objects/property and the living subjects because the living subjects were harder to draw.
Still Life Surveillance Log
1: Monday, 2.22.10
Every face is subtly different, but conformed into one position. Every set of eyes looks in separate direction, but all have unified expressions. The shine from above should have cleared the doubt from their faces, but they remain trembling. Every action is counterproductive. Consistently looking to each other for an answer, but no one comprehends the position they are in.
2: Tuesday, 2.23.10
Disillusioned, every woman is losing ground without love in arms. Every limb is broken, torn off, and pulled apart. Their minds are slowly following the trend of the circumstances. Yearning for that burden to bear a second skin. Empathizing the fact that no child could pull the weight of this world onto its shoulders. They remain numb, unconscious, and defeated.
3: Wednesday, 2.24.10
Eight white knuckles clenching neon blonde. Betrayal is in plain sight. A helpless victim squeals for divinity, but nothing can hold her hand through this. Her veins are digging past the empty lines and shadows of her hope, through every pour of her porcelain skin. There is an incoherent depth to the reality of every situation.
4: Thursday, 2.25.10
The meager thought of inhalation brought an undying sense of deprivation to her shuttering mind. Damp air is thinning in the bottom of her chest quicker than her faith ever had. Her halo remains bent, hanging from the ever-growing chip in her shoulder. An opaque flood drains to a pool of water in the center of the room. She struggles to keep her concrete mind above stream. There is no longer control over the body submerged. Taking another breath will fill her sorry lungs to the brim.
5: Friday, 2.26.10
Stained white, pale skin reflects the days of her youth. Beating green eyes plead for an escape, an easy route to the truth. All of her demons bring her to the ground, the ground she used to walk on, the ground she dragged herself across, and the ground she is laying six feet beneath it.
Prompt Response
2.25.10
Truth and fact is exists in the relationship between the surveillant and the surveilled, because what the surveillant and the surveilled perceive are capable of going both ways. The surveillant is viewing, watching, and seeing, while the surveilled is acting, creating, and moving. Each person may understand that one another could be watching or thinking of the other. The surveillant has an easier time finding the truth because of his physical view on the surveilled. The surveilled may also control truth and fact because they may pretend to do something on camera to start a commotion and physically not do a thing. The surveillant and the surveilled both find the truth.
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Fall Semester 2009
Diptych Reflection
12/21/09
The two pieces I made were intended to palimpsestically and haptically represent a dialogue between the languages of two games that have influenced my personal identity. At first it seemed as if it would come easily and that the projects could relate without much thought or analysis. I chose a favorite childhood action figure and a sport that I still play. I had realized that the two hardly speak to each other in physical form; the way that my pieces speak to each other is in the way that I was involved in the game. The games themselves have no relation-the connection is within me. I acted in the same fashion towards both of the games; I practically studied the games inside and out, memorizing everything there was to know. Both of these games have influenced me in my daily life because it allows me to memorize crazy little details. For example, I was in target a couple weeks ago and I saw a woman who worked there and I remembered she had a hello kitty tattoo from the last time I saw here three years prior.
National Portfolio Day
I took the train into Philadelphia with Shane Ziegler, we got off at market street east and decided we were both hungry. We decided that Chinese food was our best choice in the train station…I immediately regret that decision. I was already feeling nervous, and now my stomach wasn’t feeling too hot. Shane and I both couldn’t even finish the retched Chinese food. I threw mine out and Shane gave his to a homeless guy, what a guy he is! It was about 11:45 and we were happy that we were early…or so we thought. We walked around a bit and found the convention center. We walked past the big glass main room and saw a small line; we were confused as to why there was a line so early. We continued to walk to find the end of the line and found ourselves walking in an endless line. We literally walked 8 blocks to get to the end of the line. Luckily it was easier to move forward in the line than it was to find the end of it. We got inside and the convention center was filled with booths and every accredited art school in the country. Shane and I both waited in line to see Pratt, we ended up waiting almost 2 hours in line. I was friendly as always and met a girl and a guy from New Jersey. All I remember is that the guy wanted to be an illustrator after he was turned down from being a graphic designer and that the girl went to Marlboro high school, like the cigarette…weird, I know. I finally got to the front of Pratt and talked to this burly representative. He wasn’t very nice and didn’t like that I didn’t have any observational drawings. I was kind of ticked of, but I didn’t really mind too much. I ended up going to talk to Saic, I waited to talk to Grayson, (who is this really awesome representative for Saic) I showed him my portfolio and tried my best to explain it. H stopped me in the middle and told me to not be nervous because he accepted it and is going nominate me for a merit scholar ship. I was extraordinarily happy.
Diptych
11.18.09
The two games that have contributed to who I am are Gundam action figures and Table Tennis. When I was in fourth grade my friend Mac Cooper and his older brother really loved these action figures called Gundams. I started hanging out with him more and more and I became hooked on them. We used to watch the anime together, play the Gundam video games, and set up fake wars with the actions figures. I ended up collecting the action figures. I still have at least forty of them in my dresser drawer. I mention this game second since it is more of a sport than a game but, Table Tennis has been an even larger impact in who I am. I am still heavily involved in all aspects of the sport. I play at least twice a week and plan on becoming a certified coach. I’m not sure as to what they would say to one another.
Reflection Paper: ID Cards.
11/13/09
I enjoyed creating these card projects because of the range of themes they involved. Even though most of my projects have multiple ideas and can be layered into one theme, they have never spread out like this project has. The fifty card assignment was intended to be separated by the individual ten card themes, but I was able to connect all of my thoughts in the same way, for the different themes. In a way, all of my cards are closely related, they all could be put into one explanation, and at the same time I can depict a separate theme from each card. This project has allowed myself to create art in a way that reflects the aspects of my own personal identity and creative process. I am satisfied with the outcome of my project.
Stereotypical identity
Stereotypes are a growing influence in the way that people treat each other. These overpowering stereotypes can influence the way a person thinks about you and even treats you. I feel as if I have multiple identities but only one shows through in a stereotypical fashion. I believe that I am simply stereotyped as an artist or “artsy.” People see who I am and automatically assume I am an artist. I guess some people see me as an athlete at certain times as well. I have played lacrosse since I was twelve years old, and have played other sports as well. The difference is that I was born an artist, and who I am is reflected in the artsy culture. The way I comprehend and learn things is very visual or cinematic. The way I dress and the style I have is very art influenced. I am not really a hip person but I would say I dress fashion forward. I can’t think of any negative stereotypes that I fall under so I have nothing to complain about.
Family Dynamic
9/18/09
I am positioned in my family dynamic as the youngest child, but I am also the tallest. As the youngest child I am given the least amount of responsibility and this has effected me positively. I think the less responsibility has allowed me to fully find myself in ways I could not have if I was so forcefully working, cleaning, etc. I have two sisters and they were always perceived as very strong well-rounded students and people. For a long time in my life I was perceived as the black sheep in the family because I struggled to work in school and was not around the right type of people for friends. I didn’t like the constant pressure I was under in school and in life. I felt indifferent to society and it did not help motivate me to do much of anything. Subconsciously, I used food as a coping mechanism to all of the pain and suffering that had grown into persistent problems. I was never a very healthy eater, but the way I ate from ninth grade to eleventh grade was awful. My position in my family has allowed myself the room to grow up when I was ready. I recently started eating healthy and have lost 40 pounds. My position in my family dynamic has allowed me to learn what was right and wrong through my own experiences and now I like who I am becoming.
Cultural Identity
9/9/09
I define culture by the people who have created it and live in it. Culture is not something that happens by it self, but more of the outcome of a progressive group of people living together. Culture has a strong influence on many aspects of a person’s life and it helps develop many other important criteria’s of their lives. Culture can determine the way you speak (accent or language), the way you dress, and it can most importantly build up a persons ideals and beliefs. Culture by definition is “a particular society at a particular time and place.” I think culture never dies and to say culture only exists for a certain time is incorrect. Everything influences everything and previous fashion and ideals influence you into the new culture. Living in a part of America in a school that is as culturally diverse as physically possible makes this realization possible for me. I am heavily influenced by my culture because of the people I interact and correspond with, the music and art scene I live in and the school I study in. Everyday is filled with people with different cultures and instinctively these people influence me because they are all I know and have grown up around. I think the heaviest influence is from your own family and there culture. Your ideals are passed down from your parents and that makes a big difference when you begin to learn things from your friends. An example of culture influencing me is the way my attitude is and the way I speak. My friends mock me and tell me I have a Philadelphia accent that basically sounds like a stereotypical New York accent. I have come to the realization that my culture and the people who have created it with me influence me.
Other Identity
I feel that I am othered by society because I am in multiple social groups. It sometimes becomes difficult to keep everything in its place,I some times think to artistically or visually for other courses(Math). Although it difficult mentally I feel that I tend to have trouble physically over mentally. The way that I dress would have to be the most significant difference between the two groups. Being who I am is really not a problem for me what so ever, my friends are all excepting. The only insignificant problem would be that I do feel like an “other” by people who do not know me. It doesn’t bother me too much. I know that I am perceived as an athlete for a majority of some days, but am an artist every second of everyday.
Heroic Identity
I would classify myself as more of an aspiring hero than a current one. I am the youngest child in my family and have little heroic qualities. I have been stuck in school for as long as I can remember. I have learned to appreciate the hard work my teachers put into class and also the roles they have filled in. I guess you could say that my aspirations to become a hero involve my need to become a teacher or a coach. I am planning on going to an art school next fall for graphic design. After my first two years I have been considering to go into an education program to get on the right path to becoming a high school art teacher. I have also worked on becoming a professional table tennis coach. I worked this summer with a talented USATT junior coach, for my senior graduation project. I hope to call myself a hero one day.
